Fate.
Accepting your fate is a very non-resistant way to go.
If you're a Hindu, and ultimately believe that your lot in this life is due to your karma from a past life, then (if my understanding is correct) you culturally and religiously are expected to submit to that fate. Which is great if you're born into a high caste... not so much if you're low born.
It's a mind-frame that's incredibly conducive to oppression. If you believe that karma determines your fate, then when you're born into a high caste it only makes sense that you should shun the low born, for they were bad in their past life, and hence are fated to serve you. And as such, you should not try to better your social status, because you are where you are - and that's your fate.
Destiny is a much better way to approach things. It implies that you have a destination - that you're going somewhere. Ultimately, that life is a journey.
Your character shapes that destiny - and your habits shape your character.
Habits, ohhhhh those habits... if you don't make an effort to cultivate them, you'll end up a slave to them. Have you tried to quit smoking lately? People make a big deal about the chemicals in them, claiming nicotine to be very addictive, but if that's the case then why do people who chew nicotine gum or go on 'the patch' end up smoking again?
Hmmm.... could it be that it's the act that's addictive? Of course it is! The crunchy sound of the tobacco taking flame, that first drag of the day, the chance to take a break from what you're doing, or the social dynamic created by a shared experience... they all make the act of smoking very rewarding.
With drugs it's a bit different, but the principal is the same. It can be more of a ritual than a habit.
I like to smoke spliffs - mixing my tobacco and weed together. It causes me to have to hunt down a single cigarette (i don't buy packs, cause then I'll just smoke them all), then I have to break my cigarette up, break up my weed, and roll them together to make my prize.
It's deeply ritualistic and very comforting.
But I have good habits too.
I practice playing piano everyday. It can be hard to make the time and be diligent in how I do it sometimes, but the reward that comes from practice is well worth the effort. So it keeps me coming back.
I try to make a habit of giving to people when they ask. It's not always easy, particularly because the same people (panhandlers, mostly) ask all the time, and I don't always feel generous. But I have lots of wealth (even if I don't necessarily count as wealthy), and I live quite comfortably. It does get tricky to stick to the principle though, like when green peace canvassers ask me do make monthly donations.
- I don't.
To get around that, I decided I would make a habit of only giving when I'm happy to give. Which may sound like I'd never end up giving anyone anything, except that the feeling I get for helping out people who's lives aren't as awesome as mine is fairly rewarding. It's not self righteous, so much as it is just a righteous (and rewarding) thing to do. I know what it's like not to have much, and the truth is that people give me free stuff all the damn time, so giving to other people actually makes it easier to accept help and money from people that I otherwise wouldn't feel I deserve.
There's a funny thing about letting people help you; it makes them love you more. A friend of mine broke his leg while he was living in Vancouver, and got stuck with no job, no money, and no place to go. When he moved out here I was worried that he might try and crash my place for a bit, but once he was injured what was I gonna do? Send him packing? No way.
He stayed with me for months, and I helped him heal as best as I could. The more that I was able to help him, my interest in his recovery grew and grew. It wasn't just because I wanted my personal space back, but more so because I'd invested so much time into his well-being.
It's very good to allow people to help you. Even if you can do things by yourself, that doesn't mean that you should. We're a social species, and you shouldn't be alone. We're not built to be independent.
What even is independence? Living on your own and not needing money from mom and dad? Maybe you don't have a mom and dad. Maybe you've been looking out for yourself since day one. Maybe you think to yourself that you don't need anyone and that you can keep doing it all alone. It's a very common thought, but for me, I had the reality of my own dependence forced upon me years ago when my auto-immune disorder came to a head.
My knees had become so swollen that I couldn't even walk to the bathroom, so my brother had to come and pick me up to bring me to the hospital. The nurses and doctors there eased the pain as much as they could, and were absolutely horrified when I told them I didn't have a rheumatologist. (I suffer from rheumatoid arthritis, but have not really trusted the medical system and their insistence on pills upon pills).
So, these doctors - people who don't know me from a hole in the ground - put me in touch with a network of health practitioners who put me back together.
Here's a breakdown of some of the people who came together to help me, and what they did:
None of that even begins to cover the centuries of education and systems that have been put in place to create a supportive (but certainly flawed and complicated) culture and society. I can no longer agree with D.R.I. when they sing "I don't need society".
Because I do.
At least I do if I want to have a life with any sort of joy and value.
I am not independent. I live on my own and can pay my rent and taxes, but by no means can I do it without help. Even the skills that I use to pay my rent I owe to a network of teachers, employers, and friends. Do you think I just figured out how to write words, edit paragraphs, and create a blog site without help? Get real! What about the gluten free bread I eat? Someone had to not only deduce the issue with gluten in the first place, but then they had to figure out how to replace the grains. Not to mention that someone's got to plant the grains, harvest them, grind them, sell them, ship them... you get the idea.
You are not independent either. You are not self-made.
In the words of Mark Twain, "A self-made man is about as likely as a self-laid egg."
I'm starting to suspect that we've been sold the idea of our own independence to keep us proud and easy to manipulate. It keeps us thinking that we can do it on our own and that we don't need anybody. Which in reality, is a bold faced fucking lie.
There's a war for your thoughts going on. There always has been, and always will be. Because what you think has ripple effects so dramatic that it's beyond our busy imaginations. I came across this little bit of logic that I think sums it up nicely:
Watch your thoughts; they become words
Watch your words; they become actions
Watch your actions; they become habits
Watch your habits; they become your character
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny
Do you think you're destined for more than what you're doing? It could be time to give your head a shake and develop some better habits.
Accepting your fate is a very non-resistant way to go.
If you're a Hindu, and ultimately believe that your lot in this life is due to your karma from a past life, then (if my understanding is correct) you culturally and religiously are expected to submit to that fate. Which is great if you're born into a high caste... not so much if you're low born.
It's a mind-frame that's incredibly conducive to oppression. If you believe that karma determines your fate, then when you're born into a high caste it only makes sense that you should shun the low born, for they were bad in their past life, and hence are fated to serve you. And as such, you should not try to better your social status, because you are where you are - and that's your fate.
Destiny is a much better way to approach things. It implies that you have a destination - that you're going somewhere. Ultimately, that life is a journey.
Your character shapes that destiny - and your habits shape your character.
Habits, ohhhhh those habits... if you don't make an effort to cultivate them, you'll end up a slave to them. Have you tried to quit smoking lately? People make a big deal about the chemicals in them, claiming nicotine to be very addictive, but if that's the case then why do people who chew nicotine gum or go on 'the patch' end up smoking again?
Hmmm.... could it be that it's the act that's addictive? Of course it is! The crunchy sound of the tobacco taking flame, that first drag of the day, the chance to take a break from what you're doing, or the social dynamic created by a shared experience... they all make the act of smoking very rewarding.
With drugs it's a bit different, but the principal is the same. It can be more of a ritual than a habit.
I like to smoke spliffs - mixing my tobacco and weed together. It causes me to have to hunt down a single cigarette (i don't buy packs, cause then I'll just smoke them all), then I have to break my cigarette up, break up my weed, and roll them together to make my prize.
It's deeply ritualistic and very comforting.
But I have good habits too.
I practice playing piano everyday. It can be hard to make the time and be diligent in how I do it sometimes, but the reward that comes from practice is well worth the effort. So it keeps me coming back.
I try to make a habit of giving to people when they ask. It's not always easy, particularly because the same people (panhandlers, mostly) ask all the time, and I don't always feel generous. But I have lots of wealth (even if I don't necessarily count as wealthy), and I live quite comfortably. It does get tricky to stick to the principle though, like when green peace canvassers ask me do make monthly donations.
- I don't.
To get around that, I decided I would make a habit of only giving when I'm happy to give. Which may sound like I'd never end up giving anyone anything, except that the feeling I get for helping out people who's lives aren't as awesome as mine is fairly rewarding. It's not self righteous, so much as it is just a righteous (and rewarding) thing to do. I know what it's like not to have much, and the truth is that people give me free stuff all the damn time, so giving to other people actually makes it easier to accept help and money from people that I otherwise wouldn't feel I deserve.
There's a funny thing about letting people help you; it makes them love you more. A friend of mine broke his leg while he was living in Vancouver, and got stuck with no job, no money, and no place to go. When he moved out here I was worried that he might try and crash my place for a bit, but once he was injured what was I gonna do? Send him packing? No way.
He stayed with me for months, and I helped him heal as best as I could. The more that I was able to help him, my interest in his recovery grew and grew. It wasn't just because I wanted my personal space back, but more so because I'd invested so much time into his well-being.
It's very good to allow people to help you. Even if you can do things by yourself, that doesn't mean that you should. We're a social species, and you shouldn't be alone. We're not built to be independent.
What even is independence? Living on your own and not needing money from mom and dad? Maybe you don't have a mom and dad. Maybe you've been looking out for yourself since day one. Maybe you think to yourself that you don't need anyone and that you can keep doing it all alone. It's a very common thought, but for me, I had the reality of my own dependence forced upon me years ago when my auto-immune disorder came to a head.
My knees had become so swollen that I couldn't even walk to the bathroom, so my brother had to come and pick me up to bring me to the hospital. The nurses and doctors there eased the pain as much as they could, and were absolutely horrified when I told them I didn't have a rheumatologist. (I suffer from rheumatoid arthritis, but have not really trusted the medical system and their insistence on pills upon pills).
So, these doctors - people who don't know me from a hole in the ground - put me in touch with a network of health practitioners who put me back together.
Here's a breakdown of some of the people who came together to help me, and what they did:
- my brother drove me to the hospital
- nurses helped ease my pain
- clerks put my info into a computer and sent my name to a waiting list for more doctors
- a physiotherapist re-trained me to use my muscles properly (I had to re-learn how to sit and stand!)
- A rheumatologist helped me apply and get funding for appropriate and powerful medications
- the Mary Pack Arthritis Centre enabled me to attend meetings on how to manage my condition
- the B.C. Coalition of people with disabilities helped me apply for welfare and disability funding
- MHSD (ministry of housing and social development) began to pay my rent
- Work BC sent me to a disability centre which would better serve me to find work
- Open door group helped me re-define my work search (I can no longer work as a cook)
- the staff and counsellors at Open door group got helped redo my resume, and ultimately hooked me up with work renting instruments during the beginning of school season, which turned into full time employment and put me in touch with more musicians and employers
None of that even begins to cover the centuries of education and systems that have been put in place to create a supportive (but certainly flawed and complicated) culture and society. I can no longer agree with D.R.I. when they sing "I don't need society".
Because I do.
At least I do if I want to have a life with any sort of joy and value.
I am not independent. I live on my own and can pay my rent and taxes, but by no means can I do it without help. Even the skills that I use to pay my rent I owe to a network of teachers, employers, and friends. Do you think I just figured out how to write words, edit paragraphs, and create a blog site without help? Get real! What about the gluten free bread I eat? Someone had to not only deduce the issue with gluten in the first place, but then they had to figure out how to replace the grains. Not to mention that someone's got to plant the grains, harvest them, grind them, sell them, ship them... you get the idea.
You are not independent either. You are not self-made.
In the words of Mark Twain, "A self-made man is about as likely as a self-laid egg."
I'm starting to suspect that we've been sold the idea of our own independence to keep us proud and easy to manipulate. It keeps us thinking that we can do it on our own and that we don't need anybody. Which in reality, is a bold faced fucking lie.
There's a war for your thoughts going on. There always has been, and always will be. Because what you think has ripple effects so dramatic that it's beyond our busy imaginations. I came across this little bit of logic that I think sums it up nicely:
Watch your thoughts; they become words
Watch your words; they become actions
Watch your actions; they become habits
Watch your habits; they become your character
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny
Do you think you're destined for more than what you're doing? It could be time to give your head a shake and develop some better habits.
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