I enjoy talking about myself.
I don't think I'm alone in that.
I like to share my stories, experiences, and accomplishments. It's great to talk to people! Sharing stories helps strengthen relationships, communicate ideas, illuminate issues and work towards common goals.
But I get scared about getting involved with new groups, or even just individuals. It's like starting a new job - as soon as you do you end up with new responsibilities. People may start to count on you, and that means that you can cause damage if you screw up. As I've spent most of my adult life believing I'm a screw up, I generally had the idea that I shouldn't get involved in other people's lives. You know, because I'll just end up causing damage.
This keeps me solitary. And as a result, very insulated and comfortable (not to mention emotionally disconnected). That's how I can sit here and type all these pleasant ideologies into a computer for you to read - because I don't have anyone here threatening to take away my comforts, challenge my frail existence, or impose on me their way of living and all of its "do's and don'ts."
An internet connection helps this along nicely. Our new culture of social media allows me to talk with people, discuss ideas, and educate myself without ever having to come face to face with real emotions or contrasting truths. Basically, when and if I want to, I can exist in a vacuum - where no one else's reality has to upset mine. This enables me to feel more entitled, become less sensitive, and have less understanding.
Actually, fuck that -
it goes far beyond enabling.
It steers me away from real life, distracts me from how fortunate I am, rewards me for self serving behaviour, and keeps me feeling cocky and brilliant.
It's a trap.
One that keeps me focused in on how bad every one else is, and always more sure of how good and right I am. Fortunately, I have friends and family - people who keep me in check and let me know when I'm getting lost. If I didn't have anyone to talk to about all the crazy things in my head this blog would already have become a conspiracy theory newsletter.
I think that maybe some people who write conspiracy theories have a lack of peers to talk to. Have you ever had a thought in your head that you built up to a mountain, but was really a mole hill? For example: you met someone you want to be with, but on the first date you said something stupid. All week you keep replaying it in your head and worry how it's ruined your chances. The next date comes, and somehow it comes up in conversation and you find that she found it charming, or maybe just didn't even notice it at all. The point is, if you let ideas build up and don't properly flush them out, your mind gets constipated.
So if you spend all your time by yourself, how can you recognize anyone else's perspective? How can you begin to understand the consequences of your actions and how they relate to the rest of the world, when all of your thoughts and habits are geared solely towards yourself?
There's another scenario that afflicts the more social folks - surrounding ourselves with only like-minded people. You know who's good at that? Cults and gangs. If you only hang around with people who think the same thoughts as you, you're bound to be retarded (see: neo-nazism). Again, with the conspiracy theorists (I've read a lot of conspiracy propaganda if you hadn't guessed) I think that they are often guilty of 'incestuous ideas', or ideas that just stay within the safe and biased womb that birthed them.
I happen to enjoy conspiracy, but it's more damaging even than blind acceptance. It keeps you thinking you know more than everybody, that they're all fools, and that you have the answer. Yet so many times the people who espouse these ideas never grow. They just keep pointing fingers and telling you who's the bad guy. They may even be right about what they're saying, but so fucking what! How can you listen to people who don't listen back?
The bait and switch in chasing conspiracies is that you deal with problems that are so far beyond your control, that you can have strong opinions and know all the answers without ever having to become seriously involved.
I find this to be very disempowering.
But how do you break such a habit?
In a world where everywhere we look are signs and advertisements designed to make us want more, where mainstream musical artists as well as the underground ones are glorified for bragging about themselves, where independence is taught more than coexistence, how in the fuck am I supposed to believe that I live for any other reason than to do what makes me happy?
Well, that brings me to spirituality.
We spend a lot of time looking for ourselves. We look for inner peace, enlightenment, life's purpose, and a myriad of other deep questions that probe at the root of our existence. But for so many of us, we're still doing it through the lens of 'self'.
I see people get really lost in themselves. So much of their soul searching gets hijacked by consumerism disguised as a path to inner peace, and our learned behaviour to buy our way out of problems. People want easy instant fixes, and it's no shock. That's what we're conditioned for. Instant coffee, fast food, hook-up apps, google search engines, everything at our finger tips. It's awesome, but we become ungrounded. We get so used to satisfying every tiny little notion of unhappiness, that we gloss over the fact that satisfaction comes from accomplishment. And real accomplishment takes time and effort. It can't just be bought or meditated into existence.
I have this idea about universal oneness (as it's one of the concepts out there). If we are all connected, much like the organs in our body, wouldn't it make sense for us to do everything in our power to help each other out? I mean, we're all in one body and we need to work together, yeah? It fits in with the concept that the healthier your environment is, the healthier you will be. So if we're all one (with each other, the universe, plants, animals, etc.) doesn't that mean that what I do for the world around me is also indirectly what I do for myself?
And if that's the case, and our spirits are connected, does it stand to reason that to grow my own spirit I would have to help nurture every other spirit around me? In other words, to really grow my spirit - I have to give and give and give.
Does that sound right?
Because it doesn't sound easy, fun, or even possible!
Don't get me wrong - know yourself, love yourself, and take care of yourself. You and I should really be in good condition. What I'm saying is that it's important to be checking the motivations for why we're working on ourselves. There's lots of good reasons to be in shape, healthy, and smart! Like, so we can fight the insane amount of evil that exists in this world.
If you find yourself burning to stand up against the atrocities of government, big business, capitalism, slavery, and all the big ugly powers that we have to face, you gotta be healthy and strong.
So if you, like me, are able-bodied and free - I think we have an obligation to fix what is broken.
And it's okay to start with yourself.
I don't think I'm alone in that.
I like to share my stories, experiences, and accomplishments. It's great to talk to people! Sharing stories helps strengthen relationships, communicate ideas, illuminate issues and work towards common goals.
But I get scared about getting involved with new groups, or even just individuals. It's like starting a new job - as soon as you do you end up with new responsibilities. People may start to count on you, and that means that you can cause damage if you screw up. As I've spent most of my adult life believing I'm a screw up, I generally had the idea that I shouldn't get involved in other people's lives. You know, because I'll just end up causing damage.
This keeps me solitary. And as a result, very insulated and comfortable (not to mention emotionally disconnected). That's how I can sit here and type all these pleasant ideologies into a computer for you to read - because I don't have anyone here threatening to take away my comforts, challenge my frail existence, or impose on me their way of living and all of its "do's and don'ts."
An internet connection helps this along nicely. Our new culture of social media allows me to talk with people, discuss ideas, and educate myself without ever having to come face to face with real emotions or contrasting truths. Basically, when and if I want to, I can exist in a vacuum - where no one else's reality has to upset mine. This enables me to feel more entitled, become less sensitive, and have less understanding.
Actually, fuck that -
it goes far beyond enabling.
It steers me away from real life, distracts me from how fortunate I am, rewards me for self serving behaviour, and keeps me feeling cocky and brilliant.
It's a trap.
One that keeps me focused in on how bad every one else is, and always more sure of how good and right I am. Fortunately, I have friends and family - people who keep me in check and let me know when I'm getting lost. If I didn't have anyone to talk to about all the crazy things in my head this blog would already have become a conspiracy theory newsletter.
I think that maybe some people who write conspiracy theories have a lack of peers to talk to. Have you ever had a thought in your head that you built up to a mountain, but was really a mole hill? For example: you met someone you want to be with, but on the first date you said something stupid. All week you keep replaying it in your head and worry how it's ruined your chances. The next date comes, and somehow it comes up in conversation and you find that she found it charming, or maybe just didn't even notice it at all. The point is, if you let ideas build up and don't properly flush them out, your mind gets constipated.
So if you spend all your time by yourself, how can you recognize anyone else's perspective? How can you begin to understand the consequences of your actions and how they relate to the rest of the world, when all of your thoughts and habits are geared solely towards yourself?
There's another scenario that afflicts the more social folks - surrounding ourselves with only like-minded people. You know who's good at that? Cults and gangs. If you only hang around with people who think the same thoughts as you, you're bound to be retarded (see: neo-nazism). Again, with the conspiracy theorists (I've read a lot of conspiracy propaganda if you hadn't guessed) I think that they are often guilty of 'incestuous ideas', or ideas that just stay within the safe and biased womb that birthed them.
I happen to enjoy conspiracy, but it's more damaging even than blind acceptance. It keeps you thinking you know more than everybody, that they're all fools, and that you have the answer. Yet so many times the people who espouse these ideas never grow. They just keep pointing fingers and telling you who's the bad guy. They may even be right about what they're saying, but so fucking what! How can you listen to people who don't listen back?
The bait and switch in chasing conspiracies is that you deal with problems that are so far beyond your control, that you can have strong opinions and know all the answers without ever having to become seriously involved.
I find this to be very disempowering.
But how do you break such a habit?
In a world where everywhere we look are signs and advertisements designed to make us want more, where mainstream musical artists as well as the underground ones are glorified for bragging about themselves, where independence is taught more than coexistence, how in the fuck am I supposed to believe that I live for any other reason than to do what makes me happy?
Well, that brings me to spirituality.
We spend a lot of time looking for ourselves. We look for inner peace, enlightenment, life's purpose, and a myriad of other deep questions that probe at the root of our existence. But for so many of us, we're still doing it through the lens of 'self'.
I see people get really lost in themselves. So much of their soul searching gets hijacked by consumerism disguised as a path to inner peace, and our learned behaviour to buy our way out of problems. People want easy instant fixes, and it's no shock. That's what we're conditioned for. Instant coffee, fast food, hook-up apps, google search engines, everything at our finger tips. It's awesome, but we become ungrounded. We get so used to satisfying every tiny little notion of unhappiness, that we gloss over the fact that satisfaction comes from accomplishment. And real accomplishment takes time and effort. It can't just be bought or meditated into existence.
I have this idea about universal oneness (as it's one of the concepts out there). If we are all connected, much like the organs in our body, wouldn't it make sense for us to do everything in our power to help each other out? I mean, we're all in one body and we need to work together, yeah? It fits in with the concept that the healthier your environment is, the healthier you will be. So if we're all one (with each other, the universe, plants, animals, etc.) doesn't that mean that what I do for the world around me is also indirectly what I do for myself?
And if that's the case, and our spirits are connected, does it stand to reason that to grow my own spirit I would have to help nurture every other spirit around me? In other words, to really grow my spirit - I have to give and give and give.
Does that sound right?
Because it doesn't sound easy, fun, or even possible!
Don't get me wrong - know yourself, love yourself, and take care of yourself. You and I should really be in good condition. What I'm saying is that it's important to be checking the motivations for why we're working on ourselves. There's lots of good reasons to be in shape, healthy, and smart! Like, so we can fight the insane amount of evil that exists in this world.
If you find yourself burning to stand up against the atrocities of government, big business, capitalism, slavery, and all the big ugly powers that we have to face, you gotta be healthy and strong.
So if you, like me, are able-bodied and free - I think we have an obligation to fix what is broken.
And it's okay to start with yourself.
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