There are lots of things in this world that I don't like.
Religiousness, friends who deride each other, political campaigns that silence minorities, christian rock, U2 ... okay, maybe I'm being redundant with the last two, but you get the idea. Certain things are bad for you, and some situations are unlikely to have anything but a negative outcome.
Which makes it easy to talk an endless amount of shit.
Of all the ways you can steer a conversation, to do nothing but talk down about others is at the top of the 'avoid' list. You may be thinking that it's not really such a bad thing, it's kinda fun, and no one really gets hurt.
Well... that's not exactly true.
Simply being around negative people will make you more prejudiced. This is because listening to negative opinions will undermine your positive attitudes about virtually anything.
When you're in the habit of disrespect it will manifest itself when you don't intend it to. You might tell your friend or your lover that they're stupid and wrong. Fact is you might be right, but that doesn't make your approach to it any good. In the back of your head you know that when anyone mocks or insults you the initial emotion you feel is rage. Unresolved, that may lead to hatred, or at the very least resentment. When you insult your lover, she will probably let you know she's mad. Either that, or maybe she's become so used to it that she'll just pretend nothing is wrong, then busy herself plotting to hurt you.
Recall for a minute all the teachers, police, and pastors who've told you over the years that you're a bad egg, you're wasting your life and you're gonna burn in hell. Really makes you want to hear them out, right?
Of course not.
Instead they continue to spread the same dogmatic mindset that their broken social systems put on them, and as a reaction you treat them with the same bitterness and lack of respect they showed you.
The cycle continues.
Which makes it easy to be against everything. It's a nice simple 'blanket' solution, which is how a lot of our social systems approach things; one size fits all, and the rest just doesn't fit.
So think happy thoughts all the time!
Oh, wait... that's just another empty blanket solution..
A few years back I was introduced an author named Napoleon Hill, and his books on the Power of Positive Thinking. In these books are mantras to help re-program your mind, and ways to avoid the traps of negative thinking.
I found the mantras interesting. Ideas such as "there are no limits to the mind except those we which impose on ourselves" and "Any idea, plan or purpose may be placed in the mind with repetition of thought".
Do these sound somewhat familiar? You probably have at least one of those friends on facebook who posts these empty quotes on their page every so often (if they do it VERY often it's likely you've un-followed or unfriended them by this point). These lines fit in perfectly with the psychology of our age of 'memes'. They're nice happy thoughts with very little substance, and the people who post them generally don't act as if they're taking the advice.
I suspect this is because whether they like it or not, they still live in the real world (even if it doesn't sound like it a lot of the time).
These ideas aren't new. Many a swindler has earned their living by re-telling these puffy little anecdotes and motivating you to have a 'can-do' attitude. And what is generally the point? To get more out of life by experiencing happiness? To 'think and grow rich'? To get material possessions and power? Sure! Now why does that still seem empty...
Well, let's start with this quote from Oliver Burkeman, who wrote "The Antidote: Happines For People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking" “Ceaseless optimism about the future only makes for a greater shock when things go wrong; by fighting to maintain only positive beliefs about the future, the positive thinker ends up being less prepared, and more acutely distressed, when things eventually happen that he can’t persuade himself to believe are good.”
This guy is on to something. When you talk about life like it's all going to be fine because you have a positive outlook, that line of thought can trick you into not taking action or being prepared.
For example, if you believe that thinking positively about your body will heal your inflammation, you're less likely to stop consuming the things that are causing that inflammation.
Issues of mind over matter shouldn't be taken so literally. The mind is a powerful tool, and by using it to navigate, reason, and work, then you will be able to understand and ultimately change the matter at hand. It's challenging, but challenges are what build character, and in turn give you self esteem.
With that self esteem intact, you'll be able to actually effect positive change not just in yourself, but in the world you live in. You'll have a better understanding of what can be done, which will cut your negative responses down, and give you more patience with the challenges other people are dealing with.
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